It was an accident.
I am telling myself.
We didn't even have sex.
But the hands are wandering and so much can happen.

Though they tell me it's impossible.

I'm so scared I don't know what to do.
I cannot have a child,
My family will shun me.
A liar and a slut they will say.

Though, I am a virgin.

I sit in my math class,
Not listening to the teacher,
But staring at my stomach.
And I imagine life.

An embryo inside of me.

A giggling baby,
Kicking it's little feet against my stomach.
It's little hands flexing.
It's heartbeat fluttering,

Whenever I speak.

But I can't have a baby...
I don't even have a job.
Or a running car.
I have one more year of school.

My family just gets by as it is.

I have heard that punching your stomach could do it.
Nooone would ever know.
And nothing bad would happen.
I raised my arms up a little.

To the class I would just be playing around.

But I couldn't do it...

I thought of that baby,
That could be inside me,
Giggling as I raised my arms.
As if it was some game.

Kicking with anticipation for me to hold my stomach.

And I almost cried then.
Realizing what I couldn't do.
Imagining the baby,
Who's only love is me.

I love my maybe baby, you see.
And I hope it will forgive me.